Phew. What a couple of days! Since my last posts I've created a website, joined numerous others, completed various jigsaw puzzles an uncountable number of times, walked for miles and miles and slept. A little. I have also had my father-in-law here. Oh yes, Hotel Bryant was, once again, open for business.
4pm yesterday... Cue phone call from hubby 'reminding' me that father-in-laws arrival was imminent. In approximately an hour. A sweeping glance through my kitchen and lounge renders me at an utter loss as to where I'm going to start making the place look half reasonable for his arrival. So, I begin, to tidy (or hide the mess. However you want to put it) when "bing bong" goes the doorbell, accompanied by delighted squeals from the boys that "Grandpa's here, Grandpa's here". My joy wasn't quite as boundless.
Door opens, smiles abound along with a continental kiss (why?!) then I usher him in to the playroom so Charlie can show him his scalectrix while I make a cuppa. Fantastic- that buys me approximately 10 minutes to finish clearing the bombsite. It would appear we have the worlds slowest boiling kettle as the tea took well over ten minutes to make, and the end result was a vaguely presentable living space (as long as no one opens any cupboards)...
I'm sure this is a situation we have all found ourselves in and some point and has to lead us to question why we put ourselves through it? Is it their expectation, or merely our expectations of ourselves, what we aspire to be or how we think society expects us to be?
I, for one, do not consider myself to be a housewife. I am a mummy. And a working mummy at that. Moreover, my work doesn't finish at 5, or even 6. It has been known for me to work once the children are in bed, at weekends; at times when I could be making my home presentable! Do I think that father-in-law takes this in to account when he walks in to a bathroom that needs cleaning or some stairs that needs hoovering? In my own mind he does not think "she's obviously got a lot of work on", my immediate feeling is that he considers me to not be a good wife or, for that matter, a good mother. But is this my issue, or his?
Is the worry, insecurity and panic that descends on me when the in laws arrival is imminent because of their real expectations, or my own standards and (what I consider to be) failings? I fear it is my issue that causes this reaction, and that he couldn't care less about when I last hoovered or polished the TV.
This surprises me because I have always stood my ground and not let other peoples' opinions bother me. I know what I excel at and, quite frankly, cleaning is not one of those things. I am, however, not a good one for failing. Or being seen to not be coping. And perhaps that's the issue.
This means it is not the in laws who are the problem, however easy it may be to blame them, but instead my own insecurity and feelings of inadequacy when it comes to housewifely duties. Does that mean I am now going to put down the laptop and get out the duster? Ummm... No way.
No comments:
Post a Comment